The revenge of the ladle…

I’ve had this grouse against most Indian men for a while.  They behave like invalids in their own homes.

They are probably ten times stronger than their mothers, sisters or wives. They  lift tons of weight in the gym. Yet they cannot lift their plates from the dining table to the sink.

They run in the treadmill for hours. Yet they will not stand for fifteen minutes with their wives to do the dishes when the maid is absent.

They’re so agile in sports. But cannot bend down to pick up their own wet towels from the floor.

They drive for hours together non-stop in their powerful cars. Yet will not drive to the corner of the road to pick up some groceries.

I’ve been mulling over this for years. And I’m slowly seeing the light.

Rewind to hundreds of years ago, when the women were so oppressed.

Those women did not have a life. Education, knowledge, freedom of speech were all denied to them and their sole purpose of existence was to serve the men. Be it a father, brother, husband or a son, the man in her life at any point was her lord and master. They were literally imprisoned in the kitchens and made to cook & clean for the men of the house.

Now, we all know what a woman is made of. Where she lacks in brute strength, she makes up with a strong will and a cunning mind.

How did all those women get the better of their oppressors? Fighting will just not work. If they try any other methods like ahimsa or satyagraha, it will not work either. They can easily be replaced and they’ll have to spend the rest of their lives in the thinnais of their homes…

So they went along, played the dutiful wives & mothers. They did not step outside of their homes, cooked, washed, cleaned, laundered, brought up babies and kept house.

But oh so subtly they made the men dependent on them without them realising it.

They did pretty much everything for their men, so the men just cannot survive inside their homes without their women. Call it a survival act if you want, but the women chained their men to them by making them believe that they’re not capable of taking care of themselves. In short, they were invalids inside their own homes without their women.

And some aggressive women came along and made rules that no man can enter the kitchens or try to do anythig that remotely resembled housework.

But over centuries, we women have worked our way out to free ourselves. We can educate ourselves, go for jobs, excel in sports, run governments and have proved to men we’re their equals in everything but brute strength.

But these poor, poor men still are rooted strongly in their age old beliefs that they’re invalids and cannot even make their own coffees at home.

Power to women!




  1. Vidya said,

    October 27, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    A very senior lady colleague once observed during a chat over lunch that men have a convenient life with a all-in-one – an educated working wife, domestic help, care-taker of children, nurse attending to his aging parents! I wish women get to swap with the enviable ‘invalid’ state the men today enjoy…

    so true…

  2. anush said,

    October 27, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    Lovely post. And apt for all the women in doubt, doing the balancing act even at this day and age! Cheers!

    thanx! i just received a major flak from a male friend for this post! understandable!

  3. October 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    Hey Padmaja
    Really enjoyed reading this post. Yes, agree, men are really STUCK in what i believe is an “unwillingness” to change.
    It’s just so unfortunate that when they are in that inevitable situation when they are finally without a woman around the house, they realise the value of the women in their lives. Too late. They are gobsmacked and can’t deal with everyday living.
    A senior male colleague whose wife died came and told me he misses her so much because he doesn’t know where his shirts and socks are!

    thanx! and he really say that???!!! i wonder why our indian men just don’t get it. all over the world men are pretty much self-sufficient.

  4. kusublakki said,

    November 1, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    That’s why modern women should train their sons to be multi taskers 🙂

    Yup! I’ve already started! 🙂

  5. November 2, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Power to women! Let us toast to that.

    I could understand why the wife did it, but could not fathom why the mother would invalidate her son so. Then, it dawned – “The son would always find the mother more dedicated and would never find a wife who can do as much as the mother did”

    all in all – the genius and clever woman always wins the game while the men are clueless pawns. LoL

    🙂 Cheers!

  6. Raj said,

    November 3, 2010 at 11:06 am


    Anubavam pesudha?

    I think it depends on how one is brought up… Its difficult for me to sit idle @ home watching TV or doing something useless when there is ‘work’ at home. I thought these men (as in your post) existed only in Jokes, when I was a child.. Now I know and agree that there are people who need their mom/wife to do everything for them. And believe me its next to impossible for them to change how much ever hard they try..

    Good Post..


  7. Raj said,

    November 3, 2010 at 11:08 am

    and whats with your post’s title… Does Ladle imply anything… (I know what you think now…. ‘kutham kandu pidikarathula … Men will always be Men…’)

    thanx! the post title means the revenge of women after being oppressed by men for so many years….

  8. Biswa said,

    November 12, 2010 at 2:23 am

    Ok, here’s a thought. How come there are so many poems, love stories etc. admiring women written by men? And almost nothing vice versa? Portia in Merchant of Venice did not seem oppressed! Clearly some appreciation of the appreciation is needed. 🙂

    hmm.. a point to really ponder… maybe it was the men’s way to sweeten up their oppression?! and the women couldn’t be bothered to reciprocate!

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