Disillusioned, further…

Just wrapping up the school issue.

After 2 weeks of all this hullabaloo, the school seems terrified. The story seem to have spread like a wild fire, thanks to parents like me who’s been telling all and sundry, so they can watch out for their kids. So the authorities have suddenly woken up to the fact that its dangerous to let parents inside for more than ten minutes. Especially when there are lot of prospective parents walking into school everyday.

Now parents have been kindly requested to drop their wards in school and go back. No more waiting in the school. And when we come back, we face a security guard and a grilled gate in the lobby and a stern, sour-faced coordinator who lets the children one by one to their waiting parents outside.

On the personal front, my son has not got admission anywhere else. So I just have to brave it out in this fabulous school till November. And pray everyday that I’ll get a positive response from a nice school by then.

The silver lining is that my son seems to be enjoying the school.

Thanks so much, all you guys, for holding my hand through all this. It meant a lot to me when most people were asking me to keep off such things, how my kid may be targeted by the school for my impudence, etc.

My next post is going to be cheerful, I promise.

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6 Comments

  1. Anand said,

    March 27, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    Padmaja,

    I’ve been in Mumbai all this while – had no clue about the happenings.

    You MUST do whatever you believe is right – no matter what circumstances or other people say. And we MUST protect our children, whatever be the cost.

    If the school puts their reputation over the safety of the children, then they do so at their peril. All parents must stop to consider whether they’d look at it from the school’s point of view if it were THEIR child that was harmed.

    But a word of caution – I expect no different from ANY school. A former vice-principal of my old school (and a catholic priest, no less), who was VP when we were in school, is now in a US prison having been convicted on several counts of child molestation. There were several rumours of such things about the creep even when we were at school, but surely, it must have been some cover-up job to ensure that it never escalated into a major scandal.

    While it’s one thing to go after the school, it’s also important to address the issue with our kids, and find a way to make them understand and report inappropriate behaviour. School or not, predators abound. In malls. In the homes of family and friends. We MUST protect our children from ALL of them.

    Stay strong.

    Thanx, Anand. You’re right. We have to educate our kids about what’s accepted behaviour and what’s not. I’ve been trying to get it across to my son from when all this began, but I don’t think he gets my point. I can write a whole new post on that one!

  2. Vanavil said,

    April 1, 2008 at 12:51 am

    Padmaja

    So shocking!!Feel extremely sorry for the lil girl.I am just extremely worried reading this.
    Could you just highlight how the mom actually found out that the girl was molested?like behavioural/physical changes.I am also a mom and whilst I know how to track things like these by reading material about child abuse,I would like to know as a mom how she actually had her doubts or what the child actually told her.
    I dont know how this can be written subtely,but Padma can you do that?Both boys and girls can be targets of child abuse and as parents it is very important for us to know how this can be tracked.
    I had enrolled my girl for a Karate-self defence class here in the US and in the first few classes she was taught about ‘Stranger Danger’”(never ever to talk to strangers or get anything from them or go near their car or acknowlege even a ‘hi’ when grownups are not around) and as to how to react (to scream and run to a place where more people were there) when she encounters strangers and also about Correct/Incorrect Touch from Unknown & Known People.
    After the first session,I could not let her continue on with the second one.I am definitely going to let her pursue once the next session resumes.
    I think we all need to educate and train them with regarding this

    Hi.. The doctor who examined the kid told the mother she was lucky because most kids never tell report abuse. Mainly because of a sense of shame or they’ve been threatened by the offender to keep quiet about it. But this girl is pretty vocal. So she told her mom. But before that she says the child was dull and listless when she came back from school and fell asleep on the sofa even before she had her lunch. Had she not told her mom later what had actually happened, the mother would have dismissed the whole thing thinking she was just coming down with a flu or something…
    It was so shocking for us too, to listen to the mother. But its even more shocking that she’s withdrawn her complaint and is sending the child back to school everyday now.

  3. maami said,

    April 2, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Chin up and do what your child needs best. And turn the page now to a better beginning.
    Best,

  4. lakshmi said,

    April 3, 2008 at 7:45 am

    Vanavil,
    I too live in the US – have had the karate experience. But my son is in scouts and they specifically say not to fool your child into thinking only a stranger can be the abuser. It could be your neighbor or someone in the family even. I know that sounds weird.. but it is best to replace the “stranger” with “any person”.
    Also, ask specific questions once in a while.
    It becomes more important as your little girl grows up – initiation ceremonies are apparently common in schools.
    while it is no use getting paranoid.. better to be informed and prepared.

  5. Vanavil said,

    April 3, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    Yes,Lakshmi- stranger danger is referred to abduction and stuff like that,Proper and Improper touch is by anybody other than parents which covers family and friends as well and no it is not weird,I know it happens in India and elsewherre as well

  6. Nancy said,

    May 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Came thru Narendra Shenoys page. Read the whole issue…….i dont know what to say……. This is the fear of every parent now…be it boys or girls. That poor child, cant even bear to think of the mother’s state of mind.

    True. But what really gets me is that the mother is so insensitive about this. She sent back the child to the same school within a few days. I pity the child…


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