Disillusioned…

The last few days have been a whirl…

The day after the Principal’s refusal to meet us, I sat in the school’s lobby waiting for my son.

I was depressed.

I’d spoken to the affected mother and told her subtly, how the school had turned tables and claimed that she’s not a mentally stable person… Told her I’m pulling my son out of this school.

She was still feeling down. Told me she’d just transferred her older son to this school and she’s planning to withdraw him too.

I assured her that its the right decision and asked her look for a school where they treat parents with due respect.

I didn’t send my son to school for the next few days. Went school-hunting. Knocked on the doors of 2 reputed schools in the neighborhood. But since this is not the season for admissions, both the schools asked me to come back next year, in spite of me explaining the reason for the desperate need to change schools.

One school however was sweet enough to let me apply and promised to add us to their waiting list.

On the first school’s suggestion, I tried another school yesterday, but the response was negative.

In the night I touched base with the affected parent.

She said the child has resumed going to school. Because she gets too depressed at home. And she has to prove to people that she’s mentally stable. She also said that she feels this is not going to affect her son in anyway since he’s in a higher grade. So not withdrawing him from this school either.

However she’ll start looking for another school for her daughter next year. Till then she’ll attend this school.

Am I the only fool here, who fought so crazily for a cause, kept my overactive son home for almost a whole week, ran from one school to another, begged and pleaded my case to various authorities and ended up with nothing but bouts of headaches and depression?

I ask myself as I bang my head against the wall.

Stupid, stupid, stupid me…

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11 Comments

  1. maami said,

    March 14, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    It’s done,and perhaps with the right intentions. Now do what needs to be done, next. Stop breaking that wall.

    The trick is to learn to react and react cleverly, not emotionally.

    It’s the hardest lesson to learn, and one that no school will teach you.Learn to bide your time, learn to hold your own counsel and walk away with dignity in any other future skirmish that confronts you with regard to schooling, your child’s welfare. If you are an emotionally responsive person, discuss and learn from the counself of senior or younger people who are patient in their judgments.
    I want to be a wise mother, a selfish mother, not a nice mother.
    You want to meet someone who is frazzled equally despite giving away advice for free, you know my door number, don’t you?
    🙂 Thanx maami… I shall knock on your door often. Anyway this is a lesson to me in many ways…

  2. rekharaghav said,

    March 14, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    I think you’ve done the right thing. You’ve tried to get your son out as soon as possible – may be that didn’t work. But if you hadn’t tried you would’ve felt worse anyway.
    Thanx! But I still feel bad having to take him to school on Monday… At least now I got to know the real face of the management and some parents… And thankfully there are 3 of us who are still on this cause and are trying for other schools. Wish us luck!

  3. Pradeep said,

    March 15, 2008 at 12:18 am

    @rekharaghav
    I second you.. You would have felt guilty about not even have tried..
    Thanx… I just hope he gets a seat in another school soon!!

  4. lakshmi said,

    March 15, 2008 at 8:42 am

    That’s how these people get away with crime. because we condone it.

    I dont know about you, but I could not go to work at peace knowing my son is in the midst of a child molester. I dont think any education is worth that.

    Not everyone has ideals. Thank god not everyone is like your friend. She may not know boys can also be molested. she may be blaming her daughter for what happened.. who knows!

    but I am not surprised. There are a lot of mediocre parents, wives, husbands, sons, daughters.

    Ya, so true.. Forget me. How can this mom send her daughter to the same place where she got molested on a daily basis? That’s what psyches me so much… I’m just hoping and praying my son should get admission in another school soon. In the meanwhile I just have to grit my teeth and go back to the same place. Its another month for this term to end.

  5. pushpa27 said,

    March 15, 2008 at 8:49 am

    Fighting for a principle is always difficult, especially when you’re surrounded by people who don’t give a damn. The hardest part is not kicking things off but in staying the course. You chose the right path, believe in it and see it through, not for anyone else, but for yourself. Things will work out, if not today, then tomorrow.
    Thanx so much, Pushpa. I really hope I don’t have to go there on Monday 😦

  6. bombaygirl said,

    March 18, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Is there any way that you could rope in one of those celbrity parents to aid your cause? Or is it too late? I feel for you, because this is not something we as parents can ever really be objective about. My blood boils just reading your posts. I wanted to reach in there and tear out that principal’s eyes. Fat lot of good that would do!
    Thanx! I really cannot do much now because the school says the parent has withdrawn the complaint. I don’t even want to call her, since she did not have any qualms sending her daughter back to school…

  7. lakshmi said,

    March 18, 2008 at 8:04 am

    I know it is easier said than done, but can you home school until the new school year? If you can take a few months off/work part time?

    if not, make sure you teach your son to scream if someone touches him and he is uncomfortable.

    This term ends on April 11th. Its hardly 20 days. I have no problems keeping him at home till then. But its crucial that he gets into another good school. So I just have to start working on that.

  8. Anoop said,

    March 18, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    doc says the girl wud be traumatized if she sees him again and still the parent sends her to school!! SIGH!!! well as long as we ‘adjust’ and take things along our way NOTHING wud change!! kudos to u for taking up the cause

    Thanx! Now the school says the parent has withdrawn her complaint…For the last few days, parents are not allowed in the school’s lobby. We’re made to wait outside a grilled door to collect our children after school. I like their logic, though. Kid gets molested. Parents raise hue & cry. Parents are barred from entering the school. Pathetic.

  9. Harish Ramaswamy said,

    March 19, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    I think its good that you’re doing this! Its for your son. At the end of the day, the benefit is going to be his. I’m pretty sure you’ll get a lot of support from all of us here!

    Dont worry. your decision is not a very stupid one.

    Thank u!

  10. Lakshmi said,

    March 19, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    hi.. let me know if there’s anything I can do. I feel like sending an open letter to the editor of Hindu/Indian Express on the plight of children and parents. It’s completely BS the way the school handled. They should ensure they have open access in order to enable parents to trust their wards with them.. instead..

    Guess, some lessons learned here. One can’t react emotionally. I’ve been there, done that – different circumstances.
    will keeping mum about reason for changing school quoting personal reasons help?.. others may not fully understand, not wanting to get involved.

    check grp members -believe one of our school alumni is the principal of a school and of course we have some teachers -although distance may be a factor.

  11. maxdavinci said,

    April 8, 2008 at 12:04 am

    bravo! I’m too young to comment on kids but then that was really horrific.
    I still don’t get the idea behind child molestation and it defies logic..

    I’ve heard of eve teasing, sexual harassment etc and atleast that falls into the groove of deprived n desperate men. But then kids?

    I say off with the testicles, public castration of such ppl and the world will be a much better place…

    Yes… I totally agree…


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